The woman that I am

Born in a family which welcomed the birth of a girl child whole heartedly, I considered myself lucky to have enjoyed the girlhood stage of my life. Staying in the northern part of the country most of my life, I often witnessed gender discrimination in the neighborhood families. The anti-girl attitude was tough to understand especially when my sister and I were never made to feel unimportant by our parents. Our mother was subjected to sympathy from the women around for having two daughters and she was also constantly advised to have a third child who may happen to be a son. In my growing years I even heard women saying that I hope I give birth to a son, even if he turns out to be a goon later, I won’t be subjected to the pressure from the family to keep producing children till a son is born. Sad but true this attitude has not changed completely.

Colourism which is another form of discrimination based on skin tone is so very common and I not being a fair skinned female have enough and more experiences to remember. Although being born in a family where skin colour was never questioned, I could see how the people around would consider a fair child far superior. “This colour wont suit your complexion” or “You have very good features”,only if you were fair” or “Your kids will be born dark too” or “ Girls are beautiful when they are fair “ were some of the hurtful statements I often heard from people. I still see people who feel proud of being fair and also want only fair brides/daughters-in-law. I don’t feel inferior ever but feel bad that girls/women are subject to this prejudice.

Being well educated & career minded were two values which our mother always drilled in us. She always encouraged us to be qualified & be successful working women. We had seen a lot of young girls around us mentally prepared to just being house wives so this was such a great support rendered by our mother.

I take great pride in being well educated, being a professional & also being completely involved in the upbringing of my children. I teach my children to be respectful towards the other gender and I look forward to welcoming daughters-in-law without biases and also hoping that my daughter finds a home which will respect & value her.

The values that my mother inculcated in us includes being respectful even if there are prejudices, being grateful for all the good things in life even if bitterness creeps in and never losing hope even if there are darkest of moments in our lives.

My life as a woman-beginning as a carefree daughter and later a diligent female professional, a responsible daughter-in-law, an adjusting wife, a loving mother has been full of challenges and probably it is the natural power of a woman in me that helps me  to handle the various roles.

Times have changed ,women have evolved to be stronger. But I am yet to come across women who are not subject to biases, the emotional ups & downs, the unexpressed & unspoken pains and the burden of expectations. Nevertheless, I believe, the most beautiful faces and smiles that women display are far beyond the complexities created by sexism, inequality & fair skin syndrome.

My heartfelt gratitude to my mother for bringing me up with strong values and for making me the woman that I am…